Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
