By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm at about main and main street
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
