my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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