I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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