im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
