you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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