Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
