we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
