i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
