Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
