ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
