Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
