i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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