matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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