you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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