Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
