And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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