I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
