got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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