i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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