Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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