So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
