Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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