i don't like sucking hair
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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