I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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