I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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