He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
