So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
