if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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