I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
