why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
