I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
