Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
