so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
