Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
