I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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