So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
