I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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