I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
