What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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