ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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