theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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