There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
