I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
