Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize