Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
