Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
