if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
