Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
