He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
