On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
