I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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