I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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