I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
