Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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