i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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