I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
