Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
