Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
