i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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